On the 3rd of March, an anonymous PMPer asked a question that exposed our nation’s divisions so starkly that it is seemingly impossible to find a way forward. Should we have “Pineapple on pizza?”

As over 10,000 results arrived via PMP’s ultra-rapid polling service, Findoutnow.co.uk, it became apparent that the traditional pollsters had got it wrong. Voters turned out in record numbers and, contrary to the opinions of many academics and commentators, the pro-Pineapplers decisively overwhelmed the Removers with a vote share of 57% versus 43%. As predicted, stronger support for Pineapple came from rural areas, with Greater London being the only region to return a majority “No pineapple” result:

Now, people who have pineapple on pizza are clearly wrong. Why on earth would anyone want sickly sweet, hot, jammy pineapple slices on a pizza?! From a tin?! And don’t get me started on sweetcorn. However, this commentator is prepared to consider the pro-Pineapple perspective. I might even take the time to read (what I believe to be) pro-Pineapple press, to see whether there are arguments that I hadn’t considered, or I just couldn’t hear in my social media echo chamber. I might even talk to a pro-Pineappler and listen to what they’re saying, rather than just tee up my next argument or rebuttal. The enemy might not be an idiot.

Let’s think about what unites us, more than what divides us. We all love pizza. Even those of us who don’t.

Love

Chris